Pre-Funk for my International Affair

Preface: This is the first attempt of mine to document my life in any way, shape, or form so please excuse my lack of wit and spellbinding story-telling.

SO. 

After months of thinking about the notion of study abroad during my transitory sophomore year, I finally decided to take the leap and commit to the darned venture. The formalities were extensive; besides the normal application, refs, researching the overall feasibility, and financial nightmare, there were the many emails, meetings and stresses dealing my school's study abroad office. All that aside, the acceptance came in and the adventure began. Well, started anyway.

Summer is the transition between academic periods. It is the time of youthful vitality and love-laden walks in beautiful areas with beautiful people to fawn over. It is also the time of peak anxiety and worry. Summer is in full-force yet I am not. I do not have a job (no one is willing to hire someone for a month), I live like a boy scout at camp who likes it, and I scour Seattle for free internet, free food (or at least, cheap food), and boys. My taste of vagabond bohemian life is sated. I do not know whether I am full or simply eating for the sake of filling a void...  I am having loads of fun though. Hanging out with people I care about living a relatively stress-free life is nice. 

For me, the mere recognition that international travel is in my very near future is more than enough mental fodder to last three new sets of pants. I am scared shitless. Things aren't coming together as smoothly or as quickly as I had hoped. The only loan that I applied for has yet to be approved; essentially this means, that as of now, I am unable to finance my time abroad. I have since sent in my passport to have a residence permit affixed inside; this, again, has yet to be returned, which means I am unable to actually travel anywhere. Difficult logistics and unforgiving time constraints add up for a very hectic internal dialogue of incompetence and self-efficacy. Not to mention the hardest hurdle I have yet to leap over: deciding how much of my wardrobe to pack.

Yet, it seems the preparation is building up to a terrifying frenzy, a frenzy that will either give me a heart attack or simply push acne to greet the beautiful people, the latter of which, I feel, is worse. My Catholic upbringing forces me to consider these musings from the perspective of "let things be and they will come together" type of thinking. One that allows the individual to deflect all anxiety on a higher power effectively placing all causality on something unknowable. Have faith, I am telling myself. As of late, this is a difficult concept to grasp. Scary thought. This blog is the first step I suppose. We shall see what the gods have in store.

In the vein of 11:11;

Starlight, starbright, 

first star I see tonight, 

I wish I may, I wish I might, 

have the wish I wish tonight...

Oh God, help me.